On Main Street there's a store called Dollar Tree. As the name clearly implies it's a dollar store. Every item in the store is only a dollar. It's one of 384 in Logan. So how does a store like this advertise? What brings people in to this particular store? The answer lies in what must be a marketing genius.
It seems that Dollar Tree's sole advertising audience is Main Street drivers and riders. Of course they have the type of sign that allows the marketing geniuses to say whatever they want. Earlier this year the sign read "EVERY ITEM ONLY A DOLLAR". Genius!!! How can you say it any better? No way they top that.
Well, they did. Now the sign reads "20 ITEMS FOR 20 DOLLARS. MAKE YOUR DOLLAR GO FARTHER." What? I knew every item is only a dollar, but 20 items for 20 dollars? The deals can't get better? Or can they. I did some math equations and figured out that you could go there and buy 40 items for 40 dollars. Get this, you could even go there and get 100 items for 100 dollars. I know....it's crazy insane but it's true. Now, after 100 items your on your own. I didn't do the complex equations past 100. I don't have all day. But your safe up to 100 items.
I thought this was stupid but then I remembered something. At Christmas time I was in Dollar Tree getting Natalie some classy jewlery. As I'm in line there is a guy two people in front of me with a shirt two sizes too small and a his arms are full of items. As he gets to the cashier he drops his items on the counter and grabs an umbrella and asks the cashier; "How much is this umbrella?".
The cashier says; "One dollar."
Guy; "All the colors?"
Cashier; "Each one, yes."
The man then yells into an unkown isle; "They are one dollar each."
A female voice that has been subjected to a lifetime of smoke says; "Really?, How many should we get?"
The guy; "I don't know? Five?"
If that isn't bad enough the lady in front of me quickly gets on her phone and calls someone and proceeds to tell them in a low voice, as if she just discovered a wonderful secret, and says "Hey, its me. I'm at this store on Main Street and they have umbrellas for only a dollar."
So now you see how genius this sign really is.
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Wait a second. Are you telling me that I missed out on umbrellas for a dollar at Dollar Tree in Logan. I wish Dollar Tree in Gallup had the same type of deals. We only have 7 items for 7 dollars and 14 items for 14 dollars sales. I'm not sure how many items I could get with my tax returns, $3887. I'm sure its close to a million. I wonder if they pay their employees in dollars, one at a time. That would be sweet. 2 weeks pay in singles, all 347 of them. My wife would say," Have you been at the titty bar again?" My reply would be priceless, I just haven't figures it out yet. We were right, our dads were wrong. Dollars do grow on trees. Suck it papa.
I'm a little slow on the uptake here, but are you saying there is a store, right here in Logan, that sales products, including umbrellas for only $1.00? Does that include sales tax? The reason I ask is that I have been to some of the other 383 dollar stores but they lie. Eery item is not a dollar. It's like the dollar theater. It's not a dollar either. It's 3 dollars. Why don't they call it Three Dollar Theater? Because they want to confuse those of us who are use to getting out items for a dollar without sales tax. It taxes my brain to try to figure out how much the dollar store item is really going to cost me. We have a 6.5% sales tax base. So every item is $1.06.5 except I never carry .00.5 cents. It's a big problem. I finally stopped going to the dollar store. It was too much of a challenge.
Bill, When did you move your summer home to Gallup? I know its nice down there but.....
14 items for 14 dollars is still a good deal. I'd take advantage of that.
Mom, Our mutual friend named Wes told me he was going to open up a store that had all the prices figured out so that with sales tax they always cost $1.00, $2.00, $30.00, etc. He is going to name it No Cents. So I'd look for that soon.
Bryan, I really resent you using my picture for you blob, I know it's me cause it's old, green and wrinkled!
Thank you Bryan. Once again, you've brought something to my attention that will help in every day life. I have been bargain shopping in Logan, trying to cut down on costs. I have determined that I can afford to spend no more than $1.12 for every item I buy. It's been a tough couple of weeks. But, I went to the dollar store you recommended and got everything I needed! The meat looks a little iffy... but it was only a dollar.
Nom, nom, nom... dollar steaks....
Well Bryan I feel very enlighten about the dollar store. Don and I were just saying the other day that we probably could save some money by shopping at the 1.00 store. Also if you spend 1000.00 you will only have to pay 1062.50.
You are missing out on the greatest weekly event in Logan... 88 Cent day at Honk's, where everything is only $1. Every Tuesday, they even celebrate it with balloons. I have always wondered about the origin of the store name Honk's. Tony and I have always honked every time we drive by one of the 347 dollar stores in Logan, which is why our horn did not pass inspection, but I digress... Honk's must have chosen the name because it is such an excitement to get everything for $1 that a honk is just inevitable at every drive by!
Just popped in to say hello. I've been shopping at the dollar store for the past fifteen weeks. Did anyone miss me? Oh, you've all been shopping too? It's great isn't it? Bye now.
This is mindblowing. A whole umbrella for just one dollar?? At that price I can afford to make a coat out of umbrellas and wear umbrella shoes...and everyone would call me Kurt the Umbrella Guy. And I would say, "my name isn't Kurt" and then they would say "yeah it is". And I would say "wanna bet?" and they would say "sure" and I would show them the umbrella that says "I belong to Chris" and then they would owe me a dollar...or one umbrella.
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