So Elise tagged everyone who read her blog about the 10 things she wants to do before she dies. The thing is she didn't say that you were tagged until the end of her post. If she had warned me then I wouldn't have read it. So I'm going to be polite and warn people before hand. If you read this post in it's entirety than you are therefore tagged. Your Welcome.
1. Attempt my biggest stunt of my career by jumping a pit filled with the women from The View and Oprah only using a size 7 pair of Heelys.
2. Spend a year learning how to walk and not shriek after my stunt goes horribly wrong.
3. Become addicted to the pain killers I rely on since the accident.
4. In my overdosed pain killer state I alienate Natalie, the kids and anyone who cares for me.
5. Get kicked out of the house from Natalie and told not to come back until I find the old me.
6. Spend 6 months living out of my 1972 Ford Pickup.
7. Hit the gym and kick the pain killers and find myself again.
8. Reunite with Natalie and family expressing my love for Natalie in one tender vulnerable moment.
9. After several years of family life I hear the call of my first love, stunt devil. I make plans to jump again. Tell Natalie.
10. After Natalie realizes that as much as she hates this stunt side of me, it's who I am and to change that would change the man she loves into someone he isn't. With Natalie by my side I kiss her before I jump and head into the cheering crowd as I prepare to jump. Heart racing, I feel a moment of the pain I felt after the first accident. Pushing the fear down deep inside, because I know I'll hate myself if I don't do this, I click my Heelys open. Slow motion ascends all around me. I barely notice the shrieking from the women of The View and Oprah. I start down the ramp with the warm air going through my naturally thick soft hair. As I hit the jump I glance down at the shrieking women. I see their faces turn from hate and anger to awh and admiration as I soar over the pit. They can see what everyone sees. I'm going to make it. As I hit the other ramp the crowd roars. I glide down the ramp to a blurry of snapping lights. My arms in the air and a smile on my face I search for Natalie. I know that this moment won't be fulfilled until she is by my side, for she is the rock that this success was built upon. I shout, "Natalie! Natalie!" Just then I hear something. It's as if a fog settled upon the crowd. Blurring the noise and clouding the sight. In the densness of this fog there is only one voice of an angel that my ears can hear. "Bryan!" "Bryan!" I turn to where I hear the angelic voice. At once all light is removed except for a single ray. A ray that is shining right on her. She is 20 feet away. We both pause, although her mouth isn't moving I can hear every thought from her. We share a beautiful moment that words cannot describe. She begins to move toward me. Thump! Thump! Pain radiats through me. I can feel myself falling. The light's gone. I hear nothing. I feel.....nothing.
Epilogue
The funeral was attended by thousands. Loved ones spoke. There were some tears but there were more smiles. Those close to me knew I fulfilled my dreams. Natalie was suprisingly strong. Although her heart yearned for me so much that she was unable to love anyone again, or lust or even admire any male figure, she lived for our children. Just then a furry hand touched my shoulder. A voice said "it's time to go friend." I instinctivly turn, not scared, not sad but happily follow the voice. I look up and see a giant bunny. Must be 8ft tall. Still not scared or even surprised I ask "How come your a bunny?' He says "For the same reason your a Gopher." I look down at my furry belly. "Huh." I say out loud. Again not surprised. As if reading my thoughts the bunny says "Don't worry she will join you soon. Sooner than you can dig a hole for the two of you to live in."
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10 comments:
I still see him every day!! I must be in denial!! Either that or I am addicted to Vicadin and turning into a Schizo!!
But seriously, you will never be allowed to own a pair of heelys!!
Bryan, you are some kind of nut, but I love you anyway! Poor Natalie.
Natalie-Already own some.
Grandma-Thanks...I guess.
I posted!
Your funeral was one of the best. My favorite part is where, in tribute to you... we all had to jump over your open casket, with nothing but Heelys for liftoff. The mortician had stapled your face into a smile...but I liked to believe that smile was genuine. Because we were all completeing the jump. For you, brother....for you.
Bryan, I was too broken up to go on. I died of a broken heart. Not only had my first born perrished but you were unable to complete your stunt and live to enjoy the glory. When I arrived to see you as a hairy rodent, I was devestated. I collapsed in a heep on the ground only to discover I was a snake and was forced to eat my own young! The circle of life.......
Life's a bitch sometimes. The call of the crowd, the adrenaline rush, the fear running through you like ice water; it keeps you coming back. I feel your pain, brother. By the way, I was reincarnated as a meerkat. I starred on Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet for 2 episodes. Tragically, I was eaten by a mother f@+?in hyena. Such is life.
Ahhhhh shit. That was some funny creativity!
The funeral really was beautiful. I enjoyed the story of your life delivered by Wink Martindale. Who would have thought he'd outlive you. Ironic. I really enjoyed the part about your double life. Family man in Utah by day, bounty hunter by night. I can't believe the government extradited you to Mexico for arresting that rapist south of the border. You were truly an inspiration to me, minus the mullet. I will forever love you cousin. Everyone talks of your "last jump" in reverence. I choose to remember the successful times, not your monumental failures. I pray I can have a life half as good as yours was. Outro,"...they say he lived his life like a candle in the wind."
WOW!
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