VP RACE NARROWS

AP--Washington D.C.--Both John McCain and Barack Obama have one less candidate to consider for a running mate.

"It's time to move on and focus on something else." said Bryan Harper. Mr. Harper was considered by many as the leading candidate for both nominees.

The news of this has sent shock waves through the beltway as many considered the race to be as good as won once either candidate got Harper to run along side of them. He was wanted by both parties because of his ability to lock in the all important Utah vote. Along with his commanding votes he also was seen as a uniter in truth.

Harper is a strong proponent of trans animal marriages. Saying "I believe a cat can love a dog just as well as a gerbil can love a lizard. Love knows no bounds!" Perhaps his most well known stance is on the labeling of food. He proposed a bill that would require restaurants to display the amount of trans fats used in meals. "People have the right to good food. Why should we have to eat food with healthy oils when trans fats taste so much better? Let my people die of heart disease if they want to!" Said Harper on a recent trip to the store.

By all accounts Harper's future is bright. When asked of his future plans Harper said "Bryan Harper is going to do what he does. Bryan Harper is going to fix stuff. Bryan Harper is a fixer!"

This leaves Obama and McCain with very few reliable prospects. Were they go is any ones guess but Harper believes they will be just fine. When asked he simply said "Taco Bell doesn't have a tostada on their menu any more. This is an outrage!"