The Lazy Blogger

Smart Marketing!

2009-08-05T11:29:00.003-06:00

On Main Street there's a store called Dollar Tree. As the name clearly implies it's a dollar store. Every item in the store is only a dollar. It's one of 384 in Logan. So how does a store like this advertise? What brings people in to this particular store? The answer lies in what must be a marketing genius.

It seems that Dollar Tree's sole advertising audience is Main Street drivers and riders. Of course they have the type of sign that allows the marketing geniuses to say whatever they want. Earlier this year the sign read "EVERY ITEM ONLY A DOLLAR". Genius!!! How can you say it any better? No way they top that.

Well, they did. Now the sign reads "20 ITEMS FOR 20 DOLLARS. MAKE YOUR DOLLAR GO FARTHER." What? I knew every item is only a dollar, but 20 items for 20 dollars? The deals can't get better? Or can they. I did some math equations and figured out that you could go there and buy 40 items for 40 dollars. Get this, you could even go there and get 100 items for 100 dollars. I know....it's crazy insane but it's true. Now, after 100 items your on your own. I didn't do the complex equations past 100. I don't have all day. But your safe up to 100 items.

I thought this was stupid but then I remembered something. At Christmas time I was in Dollar Tree getting Natalie some classy jewlery. As I'm in line there is a guy two people in front of me with a shirt two sizes too small and a his arms are full of items. As he gets to the cashier he drops his items on the counter and grabs an umbrella and asks the cashier; "How much is this umbrella?".
The cashier says; "One dollar."
Guy; "All the colors?"
Cashier; "Each one, yes."
The man then yells into an unkown isle; "They are one dollar each."
A female voice that has been subjected to a lifetime of smoke says; "Really?, How many should we get?"
The guy; "I don't know? Five?"

If that isn't bad enough the lady in front of me quickly gets on her phone and calls someone and proceeds to tell them in a low voice, as if she just discovered a wonderful secret, and says "Hey, its me. I'm at this store on Main Street and they have umbrellas for only a dollar."

So now you see how genius this sign really is.

Another video....sorry.

2009-07-13T14:39:00.003-06:00

I hate to put so many video's up on my blog. It's the laziest form of blogging, however, when these gems keep popping up I feel as though I have no choice. Enjoy!

This video explains everything.

2009-07-13T12:32:00.002-06:00

If you have any questions after watching this then you aren't a true believer.

My apologies.

2009-06-22T17:57:00.006-06:00

The link to the Washlet is a huge disappointment. It wasn't, but now it is. It seems as though the company that makes the Washlet has changed their whole website. During this change they completely eliminated the flash based, nudity filled, poorly acted website they previously had which lead me to link to it. Now it's nothing more than a bidet website. To those that never saw the original intended site, I apologize.

I hope you can accept this as a poor substitute.

Or this.

links.

Wedding Dance

Long Hair

How has it taken me this long to find this???

2009-06-13T10:26:00.003-06:00

I really have no idea how I haven't known about this product before. Everyone should own this. Be warned though, it does contain mild nudity. I'm sorry, but I'm sure you'll agree that the nudity is well done and actually needed.

So open up your wallets, free your minds and enjoy the Washlet!

The Prop 8 California ruling was....

2009-05-27T00:03:00.006-06:00

absolutely right. What the court said was that it understands the Constitution. I'm amazed at all the outrage directed at the court. Do people not understand the way democracy works? This is how the United States works. Don't like the outcome? I'm sure Californians will have the opportunity to vote to repeal Prop 8 in the near future. And if the vote passes? So be it. That's how voting works. I'm all for the people voting. But the thing that bothers me with this whole thing has always been the demonizing of those with a different view. I'm not going to get upset with the gay right effort to raise money and spread their opinion about their side. But those that supported prop 8 are continued to be portrayed as mindless stooges by those that disagree with them. It's wrong and totally hypocritical.

Oh well, what am I going to do about it? Nothing. That's what.

On to other news.....

"A Man accused of murdering his de facto wife told a court she verbally abused him, controlled their finances and would not let him use their home toilet."

When I read this it made me fear for a loved one. You see, I have a loved one whom makes her husband use a separate bathroom. She gets the master bath and he gets the second bath. I'm not sure about her verbal abuse towards him as I'm not at their residence that often. I also am not sure about her control over the finances but I think it is very apparent that it all starts with the toilet! I only hope her husband does not read this and get any ideas. Maybe I shouldn't post this....nah, too good to pass up.

Here's a pic of her husband and his bathroom.

Do American women keep turning you down?

2009-05-22T09:00:00.000-06:00

Try a Latin woman. There is a wonderful website for those men out there that can't seem to get an american women to give them the time of day. Its Latin-wife.com! Here are a few quotes from the site.

"American men make the best husbands in the world. And nowhere is there a stronger or more favorable impression of us than among Latin women. Latinas are the fastest-growing minority in the U.S. and those Latin women have spread the word back home to their family and friends: American men make great husbands. No other culture treats their wives as well as we do. This very real perception places you in high demand. You have earned that reputation. Now experience your reward, an exotic Latin wife."

"It is common knowledge that Latin American women are faithful, loyal, and devoted wives. There is a reason why Colombia has the lowest divorce rate in the world. Their world revolves around the family. Colombian women stay with their first family until marriage and then the tradition continues with their new family. They have been raised to complement, nurture and respect their men."

"Physically they are feminine in the most favorable way. They are significantly more slender than the majority of American women and have a sexy, alluring confidence that beckons attention. When Colombian women recognize a man of good character they become quickly attached and supportive."

"Unscrupulous business practices in South America are unfortunately very real, yet the Latin beauty for you to discover is real as well. From this recognition came our determination to deliver a legitimate South American marriage agency with honest opportunities. "

So if you are tired of those snotty less slender American women give a Latin woman a try!

Hollywood Stereotypes.

2009-05-21T14:31:00.005-06:00

I recently saw this video. Some of the finest acting I've seen. Take a look.

Just because these women are not bleach blond with fake boobs and wear a size zero does not mean they don't belong in Hollywood. These women are great actors! I don't know about you but I would have much rather seen these two play the leads in 'Bride Wars' over those worthless actors that were in it. I could see either of these women winning the oscar for best actress instead of people like Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts, Grace Kelly, Katharine Hepburn and Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, wait. Not Gwyneth, she's so good. But the rest can take a hike.

I fear we may never see these two in a Hollywood movie. Just because they don't sell magazines. It's a shame.

See ya suckers!

2009-05-20T20:16:00.004-06:00

I recently received some very good news.

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.Jurgen Krugger. I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter wasreturned undelivered. I hereby attempt to reach you again by this same email address on the WILL.I wish to notify you that late Engr Jurgen Krugger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars(USD$30, 100.000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL. Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you: CONTACT Email: barrteddywilliams1@hotmail.com I await your prompt response.This message may contain confidential information, and is intended only for the addressee. If you are not the named addressee, or if you have received this message in error, we ask your cooperation to refrain from disseminating, distributing or copying this e-mail, and request that you delete it from your computer or messaging device. Thank you.

Obviously I will be retiring. So to my poor friends I wish to say goodbye and don't try asking for any of my money!

Before I die.......

2009-05-13T13:31:00.004-06:00

So Elise tagged everyone who read her blog about the 10 things she wants to do before she dies. The thing is she didn't say that you were tagged until the end of her post. If she had warned me then I wouldn't have read it. So I'm going to be polite and warn people before hand. If you read this post in it's entirety than you are therefore tagged. Your Welcome.

1. Attempt my biggest stunt of my career by jumping a pit filled with the women from The View and Oprah only using a size 7 pair of Heelys.

2. Spend a year learning how to walk and not shriek after my stunt goes horribly wrong.

3. Become addicted to the pain killers I rely on since the accident.

4. In my overdosed pain killer state I alienate Natalie, the kids and anyone who cares for me.

5. Get kicked out of the house from Natalie and told not to come back until I find the old me.

6. Spend 6 months living out of my 1972 Ford Pickup.

7. Hit the gym and kick the pain killers and find myself again.

8. Reunite with Natalie and family expressing my love for Natalie in one tender vulnerable moment.

9. After several years of family life I hear the call of my first love, stunt devil. I make plans to jump again. Tell Natalie.

10. After Natalie realizes that as much as she hates this stunt side of me, it's who I am and to change that would change the man she loves into someone he isn't. With Natalie by my side I kiss her before I jump and head into the cheering crowd as I prepare to jump. Heart racing, I feel a moment of the pain I felt after the first accident. Pushing the fear down deep inside, because I know I'll hate myself if I don't do this, I click my Heelys open. Slow motion ascends all around me. I barely notice the shrieking from the women of The View and Oprah. I start down the ramp with the warm air going through my naturally thick soft hair. As I hit the jump I glance down at the shrieking women. I see their faces turn from hate and anger to awh and admiration as I soar over the pit. They can see what everyone sees. I'm going to make it. As I hit the other ramp the crowd roars. I glide down the ramp to a blurry of snapping lights. My arms in the air and a smile on my face I search for Natalie. I know that this moment won't be fulfilled until she is by my side, for she is the rock that this success was built upon. I shout, "Natalie! Natalie!" Just then I hear something. It's as if a fog settled upon the crowd. Blurring the noise and clouding the sight. In the densness of this fog there is only one voice of an angel that my ears can hear. "Bryan!" "Bryan!" I turn to where I hear the angelic voice. At once all light is removed except for a single ray. A ray that is shining right on her. She is 20 feet away. We both pause, although her mouth isn't moving I can hear every thought from her. We share a beautiful moment that words cannot describe. She begins to move toward me. Thump! Thump! Pain radiats through me. I can feel myself falling. The light's gone. I hear nothing. I feel.....nothing.

Epilogue

The funeral was attended by thousands. Loved ones spoke. There were some tears but there were more smiles. Those close to me knew I fulfilled my dreams. Natalie was suprisingly strong. Although her heart yearned for me so much that she was unable to love anyone again, or lust or even admire any male figure, she lived for our children. Just then a furry hand touched my shoulder. A voice said "it's time to go friend." I instinctivly turn, not scared, not sad but happily follow the voice. I look up and see a giant bunny. Must be 8ft tall. Still not scared or even surprised I ask "How come your a bunny?' He says "For the same reason your a Gopher." I look down at my furry belly. "Huh." I say out loud. Again not surprised. As if reading my thoughts the bunny says "Don't worry she will join you soon. Sooner than you can dig a hole for the two of you to live in."

Must see movies!

2009-04-25T00:52:00.007-06:00

Here are two great movies that I've seen in the last 6 months that everyone should see. John Adams is from the brilliant book by David McCullough. Which is also a must read. But the HBO miniseries is very good also.

I can't resist.

2009-03-31T10:46:00.003-06:00

I really don't mean to post so many videos.....but I just can't resist. I have to share videos that inspire and motivate and these do both!

Nobody rocks the stach, polo shirt and jeans combo like Mark Gormley. Notice the sweet stance shift. WOW! How is it that this guy is just now getting some pub? Has Quincy Jones seen this guy? I don't think so. Cause if he had there is no doubt he would have been a guest judge on AI by now. Gormley is so good that if he were Sasquatch, I would dedicate my life to proving his existence.

Urgent Email

2009-03-20T12:35:00.004-06:00

I just got this urgent email. Seems legit. I'll do anything to help criminals.

Mrs. Ruth Madoff
West, Liverpool,
London.

My Great Compliments,

I’m Mrs. Ruth Madoff, 67, wife to Mr. Bernard L. Madoff, of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, who pleaded guilty to operating a multibillion-dollar Ponzi scheme, is worth up to $826 million, according to a document filed with a federal court on Friday 13th March 2009.

Just last week my husband pleading stealing billions from investment from his clients and he was ordered to jail Thursday 12th March 2009, after pleading guilty to all 11 criminal counts in one of Wall Street's biggest swindles.

Now the Federal investigators in the USA are working around the clock to freeze all my assets, fearing that I'm trying to flee the country which I have done shortly after my husband was sentenced, I have $93 million in my name beyond their reach.
The Securities and Exchange Commission is working with federal prosecutors in Manhattan to prepare a filing asking a judge to formally freeze all of my assets as soon as possible.

My husband deposited the sum of (USD$17.000.000.00 Million) in a Finance Firm in Europe some years ago in my name, I need you to collect this funds and distribute it to both of us since the Federal investigators are working around the clock to freeze all my assets. Meanwhile all documents related to transfer of this fund to your account is with my attorney Mr. Peter Chavkin, who is willing to help us process the release order from the UK bank.

Presently, I’m in a hard out here in UK as the Federal investigators as well the Securities and Exchange Commission is looking for me to freeze my entire asset as well prosecute me like my husband.

Please reply back to me on this e-mail as I will like if you contact my attorney directly so that he will direct you on the way forward. Please due send to me all your contact details as I will like to speak with you before we commence on the transaction.

Please keep this confidential. You can read my story on this website: removed due to virus

God bless you.
Best Regards,
Mrs. Ruth Madoff

Obama makes a great move as President. Surprising?

2009-03-18T14:37:00.004-06:00

I've changed my mind about President Obama. He has done something extraordinary as President. This is a President I can get behind. At least for the month of March. He made his tournament picks! I don't know if other Presidents have ever done this. If they have the Obama loving media probably didn't cover it. But I have to say that this is pretty cool that the President is an obvious fan. See for yourself......

Are you really going to eat me?

2009-03-15T20:34:00.000-06:00

Yeah, but what about corn?

2009-03-15T09:36:00.002-06:00

Obama believes college is for everyone. Sorry Mr. Gates. You should have gone to school.

2009-03-11T20:55:00.016-06:00

Do you think that a College Degree will mean you'll earn more money than a person with just a High School Degree? Obviously most of would say yes. After all, that's what we've been told by University's and College's for years. I always heard that with a college degree I'd earn 1 million dollars more than if I just started working after High School. It's a no brain er then. Not so fast.

In a recent Forbes Magazine article called The Great College Hoax The Million dollar Myth was taken apart. You see the idea that you earn 1 million dollars more is based upon simple math. The average College grad earns $57,500 compared to the average high school alumni makes $31,600.Census figures show that college grads earn an average of $57,500 a year, which is 82% more than the $31,600 high school alumni make. To get the million dollar figure you just multiply the difference of 25,900 by 40 years. The problem is that it does not take into account the $47,500 that an average college grad has in debt. Or the $125,000 that the high school grad made during the 4 years of college.

Only 54 percent of students entering four-year colleges have a degree 6 years later. Keep in mind, that's a bachelors degree. What is considered a 4-year degree takes an average of 5 years.
So now we have 65% of those that graduated with student loan debt. Then there are those who didn't graduate, most of whom have student loans for which they never received anything! That helps the economy! We now have a big chunk of the young population walking around with a heavy burden of student loan debt. "But Bryan, it's low interest." Uh, no not 40% of it. Have you ever wondered why banks like Wells Fargo and Bank of America started getting into the business of student loans so quickly? It's because they hand out non-traditional loans. With interest rates that average around 15%! Plus, there is no regulation on a cap of the interest rate. One more thing, this isn't like any other debt. Oh no it's special. Why? Because you can't ever declare bankruptcy. Not on student loans.

I know what your thinking. "If people are dumb enough to go looking for non-traditional loans, they deserve that interest rate." First of all, these loans are being handed out at University financial aid offices. So an 18-24 year old is going to school and is being told that an education is worth the cost and at the same time is offering financial aid. Does an 18-24 year old really understand the cost of that loan over the next 20 years. Of course not! They've barely been alive that long.

So why am I going on about this? (if anyone is actually still reading this) President Obama said that his goal is to make sure every child goes to college. When I heard that I had a minor stroke. Here is the thing. There are smart people. There are handy people. There are nice people. Etc, etc. The point is that every person is not equal. One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Thomas Jefferson, although it is not verified, says what I feel. " There is nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequal people." What does it mean? To me it means that you don't give a blind man the same book as someone with sight. You give him a book in braille. I believe it's the same with people. To say that all children should go to college is equal treatment of unequal people.

I have an idea. Why does college take an average of 5 years? Does it really need to? I know that some jobs require a degree. There are certain skills that must be learned before one can work. Some examples would be Doctors, Nurses, Architects, Scientists, etc. But, do each of those degrees really need U.S. history? Or economics, english writing, ect. I'm not down playing studying these subjects. But remember, universities and colleges are a business. A business that does better with more students that stay longer. This is why they help give out the loans. This why they don't tell you about the real math of 1 million dollars. Why can't we have go to college for a year and learn to be a nurse and start working. Is a nurse a better nurse because they took economics? Is a plumber or construction worker not as important as a web designer? Why do we have to be made to feel ashamed if we don't have a college degree?

Breakfast is only served in Hell!

2009-03-09T09:02:00.001-06:00

Yup, that's right. If your a breakfast lover you better like warm weather and flames. Here is the proof!

My Favorite Internet Videos

2009-02-26T12:05:00.005-07:00

I'm bored. So after I posted the Take On Me Video I decided to go ahead and list a few of my favorite internet videos. So enjoy!

Little Superstar! Creepy yet mezmarizing.

Pretty much everywhere, it's gonna be hot. I still don't know what he is laughing about.

These two have some crazy video editing skills.

If you can sit, you can get fit. ***this was stolen from Lisa's blog. Allegedly.***

Take on Me: Literal video translation

2009-02-26T11:53:00.003-07:00

I know this isn't new and some of you may have seen this but for those of you that haven't seen this, enjoy.

Sad News.

2009-02-19T14:35:00.003-07:00

The worlds longest nails are no more. Lee Redmond held the longest nails world record according to Guinness book of world records. She hadn't cut them since 1979. Unfortunately that all came to an end on Feb 13th 2009. Lee was in a car accident in Salt Lake City, Utah. Oh don't worry, she's alive. But her nails are no more. They did not survive the crash. She was thrown from the vehicle and her nails broke upon her impact to the ground.

You just know she was screaming. Not because of the crash but because the nails. On the plus size she can now use the bathroom by herself.

Rumor games.

2009-02-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

This is the game I've played by myself for years. It's easy to play. Just make up a rumor and see how long before you hear it again.

Danny Devito used to be 6ft tall before a tragic train accident that chopped off his chins. Doctors were able to reattach his feet.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie took the Discussions from LDS Missionaries. They have a large family and were interested in the eternal family concept. Brad believes but won't do it with out Angelina. She is still on the fence.
Keanu Reeves eats baby panda bears. He believes that it keeps his skin silky smooth.
Obama has a tattoo on his backside that says A is also for Allah.
Nicolas cage has not had any plastic surgery.

Thank you Congress!!!

2009-02-05T10:39:00.005-07:00

In another showing of how our United States Government is so on top of things, a bill was passed yesterday. A bill that was in such demand and need that it could not wait. Yup, you guessed it. They extended the digital signal conversion. "Consumer advocates had argued that millions of Americans – most notably low-income and needy – would be left out in the cold if the deadline were not extended" Thankfully our congress acted quick. Whew.. dodged a bullet.

Fortunately they got this done before any stimulus bills, energy bills or military funding bills passed. Important things first!

Photo Evidence why nobody should be surprised Michael Phelps is bonging it up!

2009-02-05T09:00:00.000-07:00

I think the evidence speaks for itself!

What I learned at Disneyland.

2009-02-04T15:20:00.003-07:00

Tattoo's are in.
If your overweight it's hip to wear clothes that are too small.
Natalie becomes magic when in the park. She walks faster there than she ever could outside of the park.
Sydney is a daredevil.
Chris and I get along just like we did 20 years ago.
Disney does not believe people know how to wash their hands. They have instructions on washing your hands in the bathrooms. Apply soap, put hands under water, rub together, rinse off, dry with towel. I guess they figure your dumb enough to pay the crazy prices they charge your probably dumb enough to not know how to wash your hands.
Southern Californians suck.
Hallie doesn't like drops.
The princess are expensive.
Alternators are expensive.
Food in the park is expensive.
Disneyland is expensive.
I need a high paying job.

Product Review.

2009-01-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

There is nothing I love more than pointless useless Christmas gifts. Things I would never buy for myself but always secretly want to have. Natalie gave me one such present this Christmas. ShamWOW!

I ,like most people, think Vince from the ShamWOW commercial is great. He is the slimiest carny on T.V. His over the top one liners sold me! "Are you following this Camera guy?"

First thing I noticed was that they are not very soft. But who cares when they hold 20 times their weight when absorbing fluids. Second thing I noticed was how light they are. 20 times can't be that much.

One day I was done showering and surprise surprise. All the towels were in the laundry. Never fear! ShamWOW's were near! I used a shamwow to dry off. This is a bit like normal sized person using a washcloth to dry off. To my surprise it did pretty well. Kind of like a towel.

Of course after I used it as a towel we washed it. Fortunately it came out much softer. Next I used it as a bath rug when getting out of the shower. Just like the commercial said it did the job! Kind of like a bath rug except with out the hassle of a bigger area and better looking style of a bath rug.

Overall I think the Shamwow product is great if your looking for a towel that isn't as soft or good looking as a towel. If you like towels I would save your 20 bucks!

Next up, Mighty Putty, The Caulk Dr. Pro, Aqua Globes, Power Trainer Pro and The Steam Buddy. Hopefully. We'll see what next Christmas brings.

Buy Here

Will Smith makes sense. Go figure.

2009-01-23T10:08:00.004-07:00

Will Smith (Photo on left) seen kissing Jada Pinkett Smith.
Here is a little FF. Jada is actually only 3 ft tall and must be carried by Will.

In the USA Today they ran a article of letters from famous people about the Inaguration of President Obama. It was exactly what you would expect. A bunch of Obama slurping vomit. However Will Smith's letter stood out. Here is what he said.

For me, it was something that I've always believed. I've read the Declaration of Independence. I've read the Constitution. I have the preamble memorized. It's something I've always believed in, and when Barack Obama won, it validated a piece of me that I wasn't allowed to say out loud - that America is not a racist nation.

I love that all of our excuses have been removed. African-American excuses have been removed. There's no white man trying to keep you down, because if he were really trying to keep you down, he would have done everything he could to keep Obama down. Yes, there are racist people who live here, absolutely. But they're not the majority anymore.

I'm an African American, and I was able to climb to a certain point in Hollywood. On that journey, I realized people weren't trying to stop me. Most people were trying to help me. Before Obama won the presidency, it was like, I'm the exception. Tiger is the exception. Michael Jordan is the exception. Bill Cosby is the exception. But there's something about being the leader of the free world, with every other position on earth below that. You can't argue with that. If Barack Obama can win the presidency of the United States, you can absolutely be the manager at Saks.

Come on. It was such a fantastic experience for me to be able to say out loud that I love America and not be called an Uncle Tom. That I can stand out, and I can say out loud that I love this country and not get funny looks.

I don't think we are African Americans, Irish Americans or Japanese Americans anymore. I think Americans are a new race of people. We are Americans of African descent. We are Americans of Irish descent.

It's a whole new world.

Thanks Will Smith! I couldn't agree more. While it is historic to have the first 50% African American President it's also true that people have to stop making excuses. As I tried avoiding watching the Inauguration, I failed since it was on for about 4 days on every channel, I did see some of the coverage. It seemed like all the commentators were telling me how guilty the white people should feel and how vindicated the black people should feel. Huh? I thought we were all Americans?

We should all feel proud to be an American. To live in a country where anyone can achieve their dreams. Who cares what color they are anymore? I know I don't.

Here is another nugget of fun. first it was done as a joke on SNL. Funny. But Ashford and Simpson decided to do a complete lyric change. That was bad idea #1. Bad idea #2 was what Valerie Simpson decided to wear.

ICYMI - Ashford & Simpson's - Solid As Barack @ Yahoo! Video

Wow!!!

2009-01-13T11:55:00.003-07:00

So Microsoft has the best commercial ever! Do yourself a real favor and watch this whole video. I promise that it will be worth it!

See! Isn't that great. They had to do this as a joke, right?

Finally a source of news for old people.

2009-01-09T11:09:00.001-07:00

Old People News from Atom. This is perfect. It's the news for old people by old people. They get their news from forwarded emails. Of course!

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

Finally...a post.

2008-12-24T16:09:00.007-07:00

I know it's been a while. I just haven't been in a great mood lately. It's probably because at least one person in the family has been sick since Thanksgiving. Most of the time its been me. It started with Strep throat on Thanksgiving and now Natalie, Hallie and I are sick. Great, just in time for Christmas. So we had to cancel our annual Christmas eve party with the family. So as you can tell I've been cranky.

I was waiting to post when I felt better but since that may never happen you have to deal with my negative post. Here are a few things I have to get off my chest.

***Warning*** Not for Jane Seymour lovers.

Jane Seymour is driving me nuts with her Kay jewelers commercial. For those that are lucky enough to have not see the commercial you can torture yourself here.

First of all Jane. I didn't know you were still around. What have you been doing? Oh wait you've been designing that heart. Wow, that's amazing. You made a heart shape. Cool. That doesn't really bother me. It's more the attitude that goes along with it. She says that it is her hope that it becomes the Universal sign of hope and Love. So it's universal so that means even the martians will recognize it. Hope and Love. Isn't that just another way of saying peace? Um.....Jane.....I hate to be the one to tell you this but we already have that. It's the.....peace sign. I'm surprised you missed that. Plus I think I saw a 2nd grader design this "symbol" once. Your just drawing hearts.

Just because your a celebrity and you "revolutionized" the heart shape doesn't mean you are somehow the greatest jewelry designer ever. Plus its $600.00 I guess just those that have 600 bucks can spread the universal symbol of hope and love.(that's 400 Martian coins on Mars) Also I don't see any of the proceeds going to peace efforts. Don't you think if you have just introduced the self proclaimed symbol of hope and love that you would be doing something to further hope and love?

Is it just me?

I get so annoyed with the local news. I don't understand how anyone can sit through this 30 mins of garbage. I love how there is a war going on yet there is no mention of national news until about thirty minutes in. First we have to hear about the way traffic was slowed to a crawl on the 215 or why one local resident is putting his talent of carving nutcrackers to good use. For reals? This is all before any national news?

It doesn't matter where you are either. I remember in Tucson they interrupted a show to report that a buffalo had escaped a wildlife park and was on the run in the desert. Since the station just got a news chopper we got to watch them follow the buffalo down a wash in the middle of the desert. Then in Salt Lake a little child drowned in the back yard pool. Tragic, I agree but the news story was ridicules. As an example of how fast a child can get to the pool we followed the reporter through the house and out to the pool as she counted out loud. 15 seconds if your wondering. Was that really the best way to report that?

On occasion I watch the local news for the weather report. We didn't see any real accumulations of snow all through November and part of December. That means we probably will be in a drought next spring. Of course after the weather person gives us the five day forecast the anchors do their obligatory casual conversation. Back then they would say things like "Thanks Rollen. Sure hope we see some moisture in the next forecast."

Now that we have had several storms with quite a bit of snow the comments change. Now it goes like this. "Thanks Rollen. Are we going to see a break from this winter weather? It would be nice if we had a warmer clear day." I'm not kidding either. It just so annoying. Every winter we get snow and cold. Why are you complaining about it. Just 3 weeks ago you wanted this weather. It's not just the weather man. I go to the store and the cashier will ask if it's still snowing. Uh, yea it's December. Then she/he will complain about the weather. I want to say, if you don't like it move! I can understand some comments in late January and February but in December. They all like the nice green spring, but loathe the winter. Move! I did. I left Arizona because I hated the heat. Hated it! So I moved. Ok I recognize that didn't grow up here and I admit that I being from Arizona still think its magic when it snows but can't we just enjoy the seasons. It seems like everywhere I go someone is complaining about the weather.

There. I feel better. Sorry if I've offended the Jane Seymour lovers or the Snow haters.

Here are some of my favorite commercials.

2008-12-24T11:34:00.002-07:00

So much to post about.

2008-11-18T16:18:00.009-07:00

What to post about....Obama recreating the Clinton presidency (So much for change). The big 3 automakers about to collapse. Proposition 8, the LDS church and gay activists. I'm having trouble deciding which subject to choose.
And the winner is......

With so many important topics it's a wonder why I'm choosing the new Living XL Holiday catalog as my subject. I don't know why but whenever this catalog comes in the mail I read it right away. Maybe I do it for the same reason I buy my clothes one size too big. I do it as a reminder that there is someone fatter than me out there. Although, It's getting harder to do. It's weird how last years clothes fit perfect now.

First up we have the Talking Scale. This is a heavy duty scale that has a 550lbs capacity. Now, I understand that there is a need for a high capacity scale. But do you really want it yelling out those big of numbers. I mean who feels good when your scale is yelling your weight out for everyone to hear. I wonder if it comes with a talking motivator. I imagine it would say something like " You still weigh five hundred twenty two pounds. That's like three people fatso! Have you even been trying to do anything about this weight?" I would consider purchasing this scale if only to put it into my guest bathroom and wait and see/hear if anyone uses it. Who wouldn't jump on a scale quick if it's just sitting there. $79.95

Next we have the BIG Keyboard. This item is for the person that has such fat fingers that a regular keyboard is impossible to use. Now you know what gift to get the next person that emails you with the subject heading "hjewyu tyhjerreer". It's fat fingers for "hey there". (think about it) Now you can just send them a BIG Keyboard. $199.95

Finally we've got the Bottom Buddy. Not much to say here. It's what you imagine it is. Any description is just too much information. There's one problem though. If you need one of these do you really want to call it your buddy? I wouldn't let my worst enemy let alone my best buddy in the world do what this thing is about to do. $49.95

Huh???

2008-11-12T01:39:00.006-07:00

I get this catalog in the mail called Living XL. It has all sorts of items for large people from clothes to extra strong chairs and beyond. I have no idea how I got on this mailing list. I've never ordered anything from them. I don't know if someone saw me walking down the street and said "I bet that fat guy could use the Living XL catalog!" or if someone in the family thought I got so large that I must need these items. Either way I have actually come enjoy reading from Living XL. So much so that I have taken to visiting their website.

So many of the items at Living XL are the epitome of laziness. And yet I find myself wanting them. But the following item may be the laziest ever. This little gem is a portable female urinal. Don't worry guys they have one for you too. You can carry around your own urine for just $39.95 plus tax and shipping. That's it! What a deal.

The description says "A convenient and discreet solution when facilities are unavailable." Here is my question. Were are you going to be that you can't find a bathroom but you have to be discreet. I mean if there is not a bathroom around just find a bush. Why carry it with you?

The only thing I can think of is if you wanted to use it while traveling and you don't want to stop. But if this is the case I would think you would still have to be in the car alone. Right? I mean who can drive with that going on two feet away from you? And if your alone why not just use adult diapers?

I guess I just don't get it.

My Hero!

2008-11-12T01:22:00.007-07:00

My hero is my friend Trevor. Trevor's value of laughter inspires me. In this world of so much stress and despair, Trevor offers an outlet and a hope of smiles. On Halloween Trevor took his love of laughter to a new height. For this he is my hero of laughter. When I told him I was going to post these picks he said "Anything for a laugh." Thanks Trevor!

Notice that he is both at work and at his church Halloween party. That's dedication!

President Elect.

2008-11-05T00:44:00.001-07:00

I did not vote for Obama. I don't hold his beliefs on many, many issues. However, he has been elected. He will have my support and respect, as long as he doesn't lose it. It is time for a clean slate. I hope he can succeed and became a great president. I really do. I hold out hope that our elected officials can put the people first.

As for others like like Harry Reid and Nancy Polosi, there is no clean slate. The fact is that this Senate and Congress worry me more than any President could. As a matter of fact I think Obama will be much more moderate than he ever was as a Senator.

Voting in Utah!

2008-10-31T12:10:00.002-06:00

Here is were to get your voting info for those of you here in Utah. Once you enter your info you can view your sample ballot. Then follow the links to see what the candidates are for and info on the issues.

VOTE!

Sad News.

2008-10-28T22:30:00.001-06:00

Lute Olson suffered a small stroke sometime in the past year, his doctor said today, that likely resulted in depression and changes in judgment.
The stroke was discovered Monday night when Dr. Steven Knope examined the results of an MRI. The 74-year-old was told the news and remains at his home in Tucson.
"He is frankly devastated," Knope said. "This is something that is simply beyond his control."
Knope and three family members — daughters Christi and Jody and grandson Matt — attended today's news conference. The family, watery-eyed at times, declined to speak.
Knope said he had advised Olson in recent weeks to step down from his head coaching position, saying Olson "just couldn't put the pieces together."
Knope decided to request an MRI for Olson because he wasn't responding to therapy and medication for depression.
"He knew something was wrong, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it," Knope said.
Last year during Olson's leave of absence, Knope said, those treatments were effective.
The stroke was caused when a clot likely traveled from his heart to his brain, Knope said. It did not come from stress and anxiety, though it might have caused stress and anxiety over the past year.
It is in Olson's frontal lobe, which Knope said controls "executive function, or planning," and "a center for personality."
Olson took a mental status evaluation two days ago, Knope said, and "scored almost perfectly." Knope described assistants who would wonder about Olson's state of mind, but then would be "amazed at moments of brilliance and insight."
Olson has experienced a recurrence of an atrial fibrillation — or abnormal heart rhythm — in recent months, but that likely occurred after the stroke, Knope said. Olson first experienced an atrial fibrillation in 2000, Knope said, but was treated with medication. He is now taking blood thinners.
For years, Olson has been treated for a familial tremor, not Parkinson's disease, the doctor said. The tremor causes involuntary shaking and voice trembling.
At an April press conference, Olson said his blood pressure was 113/65 and his resting heart rate 60. "Ill put my physical condition up against anybody," he said.
Knope cleared Olson medically to return to coach the team March 24.
Knope said today that he asked Olson if he wanted to speak publicly about the stroke. "He said, 'Boy, it'd really be tough,'" Knope said.

Quirks

2008-10-26T18:11:00.006-06:00

This Picture has nothing to do with the following post.

I believe Lisa and Ken Tagged me. Maybe someone else also. Sorry if i don't remember. Anyway here are my 7 quirks.

1. I dislike Canadians.

2. I have a movie 25 year rule. I don't watch movies older than that. It's getting harder to do.

3. I believe Rob Schneider will someday take a serious role and win an Oscar for it.

4. I really like Cream Soda.

5. I sometimes watch Without a Trace. I don't really like it but sometimes Natalie watches it and I go along for the ride. During the commercial they flash a shot of a real missing person. I know it sounds cold but I really hate that. I don't want to be reminded of real life during a fictional show. I'm just not prepared for that.

6. My go to move on the dance floor is the sprinkler.

7. If I go to the bathroom at night I always prepare an exit strategy from the bathroom. You know just in case someone unwanted is waiting outside the door. This usually includes a door opening with a 3 second delay followed by a barrage of untrained karate moves.

Here are the few people I know to tag that haven't done it.

Elise, Kirsten, Stephanie, Jen, Shawna, Cindy, and Melissa

Worst Day Ever!

2008-10-23T22:40:00.002-06:00

TUCSON, Ariz. -- Arizona coach Lute Olson has retired after 25 years with the Wildcats.

"This was not a decision that was made lightly," Olson said in statement. "I've had a wonderful run at The University of Arizona. I leave with a great sense of pride in what we have accomplished here."

Let us Mourn! I'm speechless.....

Struggling with bills?

2008-10-15T18:42:00.002-06:00

The Sky is Falling!!!

2008-09-29T11:27:00.005-06:00

Well, Well. Here it is 47 weeks since my last written post. A post in which I declared that I would be revising my blog and website. That didn't happen. Oh well, maybe someday. Probably not though.

So, is the sky falling? Are we heading to the great depression. Maybe both. The House just voted down the bailout bill. I'm not sure were I stand on this whole bailout bill. I hate big government. The less the better in my book. On the other hand, are we worse off if we don't pass it. Looks like we may be. Don't get me wrong I think either way we are in real trouble, but if we fail to pass this bill we are talking about a lot of people being hurt. No more house loans. No more small business loans. (And we aren't talking about a Mom and Pop store only. Bigger business' that employ a lot of people would go under.) Lots of people would flat out lose their 401k's. That's bad. The only thing worse than not passing the bill would be to keep teasing Wall Street with the thought of a bailout but not actually delivering one. Which, of course, is exactly what our representatives have decided to do.

So what do we as citizens do? The answer is simple. VOTE. It's a big election. Not because of the Presidential race, but because we can make a stand! Who the President is really doesn't effect us that much. However, who your representatives are really matters. In fact who your local leaders effects you much more than the President does. You need to know who your Congressmen, Senator, Mayor, City Council Members and your local Judges are. These are the people that make the big decisions. They directly effect you.

We are nearing the deadline for most states to register to vote. This is your responsibility to your country. We must vote. We have to vote! It is our country and they work for us. If you choose not to vote have NO right to complain about anything. Every time you don't vote you are saying that you don't care. You don't care about our freedoms. You don't care about our Military and those that have died defending it. You don't care that we live in the best country in the world. Please don't fall into that category.

The most common excuse that I've hear for not voting has been that it's too hard to get to know the issues and candidates. Bull Butter! With the Internet there are countless resources to research and study. Every congress member has a web page. Almost every candidate has a web page. There are independent places that give the facts. Do some research. This is that important. Start here

Upset about our current political situation? Have you contacted your representatives? It's easy. You can email them from their websites. Will you get a personalized response? Probably not, but the only thing that speaks louder than lobbyists is voters. With out us they can't keep their job. Don't think it matters? Consider this, today's bailout bill didn't pass by a number 205-228. "GOP members said their constituents were calling 10-1 in opposition to the bill." Source That's us. Whether your for or against it you need to voice your opinion. Tell them which way you want them to vote. The idea that we vote for someone then watch and see if we want to vote for them again next election is flat out wrong. You are there boss. Would you fire your employees with out ever telling them what you want out of them?

Sorry to be harsh. But it is so important. We must unite together and tell our government how we want them to manage this country. We have no excuse not to.

Best Dancing Moves Ever!!!

2008-09-26T20:59:00.003-06:00

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

The Family!

2008-08-22T19:24:00.003-06:00

Here are some shots of the kids we took a couple of nights ago. We went up to USU and took advantage of the pretty landscaping! I'll post more of them later.

2008-08-03T22:19:00.001-06:00

The Onion News Network's Morning Show: Today Now!

What's up Broa!

2008-07-11T22:22:00.003-06:00

Hey fellow bloggers. I just wanted let you know that I will be out for awhile. I know very disheartening, but it is for a good cause. I will be working on the new design and overhaul of my blog and website. It should be wicked awesome y'all. Like off the hook sweet. OK enough of that, sorry. Anyway, I want to devote all of my time to that so I can have it up and running within a few weeks. So, I will be a stale blogger , and some of you know how much I hate stale blogs, so you must know that I am only doing this for a good reason! This is not an excuse for the rest of you to stop blogging. Yes, I'm talking to you. Yea, you. The one in front of the computer. Your still in your pj's, you have several empty cans of your favorite caffinated soda around you and the lights are on so you don't accidently see your pathetic reflection shining back at you causing you to wonder if this really is an appropriate amount of time to be on the computer. You know who you are.

Portia and Lance

2008-07-05T10:52:00.004-06:00

Portia and Lance came up from Provo a few weeks ago and we took their engagement pictures. They were a lot of fun to work with. So, I thought I would post some of their pics. I know they are on my photoblog but I thought I'd post them here so I could get some feedback. Some real feedback. I want to know what I can do better at. So if you have a thought please go ahead and tell me.

Ray Romano Sings the Hits!

2008-07-04T11:01:00.000-06:00

Even More Michael McDonald Video!

2008-07-02T14:19:00.001-06:00

Family Guy - Michael McDonald

Michael McDonald Tribute

2008-06-27T21:24:00.005-06:00

Who doesn't like Michael McDonald? I mean, how could you not like him? Just so you know I love the music of the 70's and 80's. The cheesier the better. I like all of it. But one of my favorites has to be the bearded angel himself! Here are a few video's as a tribute to Michael!

Obama or Die!

2008-06-27T16:25:00.003-06:00

diddy obama
by dollarsandsense123

Seriously! What? What does she mean? Seriously we will all die if Obama doesn't win? Seriously P Diddy will kill us all, Seriously?

What does this all mean. If your black you have to vote for Obama? So does that mean I have to vote for McCain? If your over 70 you vote for McCain?

What happened to voting for who you thought would be the best. This is as dumb as voting party lines.

Why do I love Life?

2008-06-27T15:30:00.006-06:00

I can't figure it out. What is there to really like. Of course I'm talking about the cereal and real life, duh.

It's like wheat or something. I don't really know, but I do know I love it. I do add a spoonful of sugar to it. Maybe that's it, I just like sugar and milk. No, it's the cereal.

Life I love Fruity Pebbles. Fruity pebbles is great. It's fruity and sugary and pebbley. Who couldn't love it?

Last but not least is Apple Jacks. This is how I get my apple a day. I don't know what the jacks stand for but whatever it is I love it!

80's "Moment" of the day

2008-06-27T15:11:00.000-06:00

Great Story!

2008-06-26T09:42:00.006-06:00

Check out this site. It's a great continuing story of Love and Faith. On the right hand side click on the link that says "start here". It will give you a nice summary. I love that they are sharing their story and helping bring attention to CF (Cystic Fibrosis).

Confessions of a CF Husband

Bowling is not an actual sport!

2008-06-24T16:41:00.005-06:00

I don't care what any dictionary says, I do not consider bowling a sport. It's a game! In my mind there are very few sports. There's the big 4. Football, Basketball, Baseball and Hockey. In that order! I'll throw in Rugby, Golf, and Tennis. There are still a few that are up in the air. They are Boxing, Wrestling, and Gymnastics. Alright probably not Gymnastics but I do admire what they can do. Now before you all get mad let me say that it doesn't mean there isn't some skill involved in these "non sports" but skill does not mean it is a true sport. This is reserved for true competition, extreme athletic ability, and enjoyability. That's right. I have to enjoy it to be a sport. Sorry, but it's true. There are a lot of games people play but it doesn't mean it's a sport. I'm really good, and I mean crazy good, at badminton. But it still is just a game. That's why the Olympics is only mildly entertaining. It's nothing but a bunch of games. I know this will offend many on my wife's side of the family, but this is what I call "tough love"

----------------
Now playing: Lady Antebellum - Love Don't Live Here
via FoxyTunes

Is Bowling a sport?

2008-06-23T16:55:00.003-06:00

I've never thought bowling was a true sport. I put it up there with Soccer, Nascar, Table Tennis and the WNBA. Or at least I did until I saw this....

2008-06-23T13:04:00.000-06:00

2008-06-20T14:58:00.003-06:00

Weird story!

2008-06-18T15:52:00.001-06:00

VANCOUVER, British Columbia — A sixth human foot in a year has washed ashore off the coast of British Columbia, the second one this week.

Sgt. Mike Tresoor said it appears to be a right foot. He said a citizen reported finding it on a beach on Tyee Spit on Canada's pacific coast. No other remains were found.
The foot is the latest in a bizarre and deepening mystery, after six feet have washed up on shore still encased inside a running shoe.

The first foot was found nearly a year ago on Jedidiah Island in the Strait of Georgia.
Within days, another right foot was found inside a man's Reebok sneaker on nearby Gabriola Island and the third was found in the same area, on the east side of Valdez Island in early February.

The fourth foot was found May 22 on Kirkland Island in the Fraser River, only about a mile away from the site in Ladner, along the same river, where the fifth foot was found on Monday.

RCMP say the remains of the latest foot were found inside a size 10 black Adidas running shoe.
Tresoor said major crime investigators from the Campbell River detachment, along with staff from the coroner's office, went to the scene to investigate.

"The object will ultimately be examined by a forensic pathologist in attempts to determine the source of the foot and if it is related to other feet recently found," Tresoor said in a statement.

On Tuesday, the chief coroner of British Columbia, Terry Smith, said they have DNA profiles from the first three of the feet that have now been found washed ashore in the Gulf Islands and Fraser River.

Smith said that so far the DNA samples taken from the feet have not been able to be matched with any known samples to determine identities.

Smith and others have already put forth the hypothesis that the feet have washed ashore because they were encased in buoyant running shoes.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have said there's no evidence the feet were severed or removed from the victims' legs by force.

Curtis Ebbesmeyer, an oceanographer based in Seattle, said when a human body is submerged in the ocean, the main parts like arms, legs, hands, feet and the head are usually what come off the body.

He said his theory is that the feet came along as a result of an accident that might have happened up along the Fraser River, that washed down and spread out along the Straight of Georgia.

Link to story

Template for a successful retirement

2008-06-16T10:30:00.000-06:00

Fathers Day!

2008-06-15T17:10:00.009-06:00

Inspired by The Cheerful Blogger I wanted to share some of my thoughts about my father. As I have reflected on what my Father means to me I realize there is more than I could possibly write about. Here a just a few things Dad taught me.

Hard Work Probably some of my first memories of my Dad are of him working. Whether it was on a car, house or yard he seemed to me to always be working. I can see clearly my dad chopping wood at our house in Holbrook, AZ. I remember that as I played in the yard the pile got bigger and bigger. He always provided for our family. Looking back I know there were financially tough times but because he was always willing to work, no matter how long or how hard, I felt as a kid that things were fine. Because he is such a "Do it Yourself" kind of guy I too have always wanted to try it myself kind of attitude. Unfortunately I have not been nearly a successful as he has. Nevertheless I feel grateful for what he taught me.

Honesty Dad always demanded the truth from us. I knew that if I lied I would get in more trouble. For some reason I didn't practice this belief very much, but I did know it. Although I admittedly lied quit often in my youth that didn't mean Dad gave up on me. When I was 16 I was driving down a road when a jogger jumped off the sidewalk into the road. As I swerved to pass her I honked at her. Later she called the police to report that I tried to hit her. As the police pulled up to the house they told us of the claim of this lady. Before the police asked another question Dad turned to me and asked me "Did you try to hit her?' I replied "no." Then he said "What is the speed limit on that road?" I said "35 mph". He turned to the officers and said " I believe my son. The lady is lying." They accepted this and left. Although I had not earned his trust he willing gave it to me again. What a great example of love and forgiveness this was to me.

Being a Father As I now have kids I understand Dad more. I now feel the responsibility and the sacrifice it takes to raise a family. I also learned, through Dad's continued example, to put my wife first. I feel that through my parents examples I understand that no matter what happens the love I have for my wife will always be there. As they say the family is happy if Mom's happy. I believe that through the great relationship of my parents I always felt secure. I looked to them and wanted what they had with each other. I'm happy to say that I got it! This helps to raise a family. There is stability, strength and love as both Father and Mother raise their children. I feel blessed and am grateful to both my parents for giving me this example.

Faith Although Dad may not have gone to church with me throughout my childhood he always embraced the values that church taught us kids. Further more he always taught us be true to our faith. He always told me that if that is what I believe to live it all the way. This made me to commit myself to the gospel. I have much to learn and improve on in this area but I am grateful to Dad for teaching and allowing me to know of the truthfulness of the gospel.

I always saw Dad as Superman. He always seemed bigger, stronger and tougher than others. As I grow older and have children of my own I now know some of the worry, stress, love, happiness, and exhausted feelings he must have felt. Even though I now know he was not perfect and that he has weakness' I don't look at him less then super human. Instead I see him as an example. A person I strive to be like and the person that he wants me to be. That means more to me than an super powers.

The Harper's aren't exactly known for our ability to express our feelings. I don't know if Dad will read this or not. Not sure if he is a "blogger" type, but I wanted to express not only to him but to friends, family and my own kids what kind of father he is to me. I look forward to learning from him for many years to come.

VP RACE NARROWS

2008-06-14T13:12:00.004-06:00

AP--Washington D.C.--Both John McCain and Barack Obama have one less candidate to consider for a running mate.

"It's time to move on and focus on something else." said Bryan Harper. Mr. Harper was considered by many as the leading candidate for both nominees.

The news of this has sent shock waves through the beltway as many considered the race to be as good as won once either candidate got Harper to run along side of them. He was wanted by both parties because of his ability to lock in the all important Utah vote. Along with his commanding votes he also was seen as a uniter in truth.

Harper is a strong proponent of trans animal marriages. Saying "I believe a cat can love a dog just as well as a gerbil can love a lizard. Love knows no bounds!" Perhaps his most well known stance is on the labeling of food. He proposed a bill that would require restaurants to display the amount of trans fats used in meals. "People have the right to good food. Why should we have to eat food with healthy oils when trans fats taste so much better? Let my people die of heart disease if they want to!" Said Harper on a recent trip to the store.

By all accounts Harper's future is bright. When asked of his future plans Harper said "Bryan Harper is going to do what he does. Bryan Harper is going to fix stuff. Bryan Harper is a fixer!"

This leaves Obama and McCain with very few reliable prospects. Were they go is any ones guess but Harper believes they will be just fine. When asked he simply said "Taco Bell doesn't have a tostada on their menu any more. This is an outrage!"

Friday the 13th!

2008-06-13T08:49:00.002-06:00

It's Friday the 13th. Studies show that close to 30% of Americans will be attacked by a man wearing a hockey mask. He will probably have a chainsaw. There really isn't anything you can do about it. When it's your time it's your time.

Another 10% will die from freak accidents that are totally unpredictable. It's sad. Last year I lost two very good friends to the curse of the 13th. Stepolti was a friend from Greece. We met online in a chat room about about how to better make urinal cakes. Friends were hard to come by for Stepolti. He was born with out legs or arms. Which as you can imagine it made things very hard for him. (it's actually amazing he was able to participate in a chat room at all!) After years of online friendship Stepolti came to visit me. I had so many activities planned for us to do together. Sadly, I didn't think things through. Our first activity was sky diving. With no arms to pull the cord it was a quick ride for Stepolti. Once I know someone I see them for what they are inside and not their limitations on the outside. Looking back I probably should have noticed that he didn't want to go skydiving. But I didn't know greek and he couldn't push me away. At the time I thought his head moving all around meant he was having a good time. But hindsight is 20/20!

The other friend was Jerrod. His death was also unfortunate. To keep a long story short he wouldn't keep his mouth shut. Jerrod worked at Wendy's and when he gave me my order he said "have a good one, dude" Which of course meant that we were friends. Unfortunately when I went to pick him up from work later that night he pretended he didn't know who I was. So I did what had to be done. I miss Jerrod.

Anyway have a safe and happy 13th!

Revolution!

2008-06-03T15:49:00.004-06:00

"Senator Warner and I introduced the Climate Security Act for a very simple but serious reason. It was to protect the environment, economy, and national security of the United States of America from the worst effects of manmade climate change.

Is it a problem, climate change? Well, just last week the Bush administration itself released a scientific report confirming that if we as a nation fail to take strong action now to cut our emissions of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases, then the resulting climate change will impose severe hardship on the American people."

Senater Lieberman on the Senate floor June 2nd, 2008

What's that Senator Lieberman? Climate change will impose severe hardship on the American people? As if $4.00 a gallon isn't a hardship?

I'm so sick of our Government not caring about the American people. Oh sure, Leiberman said the right things, but he is not doing anything about it. In fact he only is going to make it worse. The Climate Security Act wants to cut emissions on our energy suppliers by 60% by the year 2030. The EPA estimates that this will add $1.50 more to already rising gas prices! So more expensive gas, energy, and less jobs is all to protect us from hardship in the future?

Here are some ideas to help us from Hardships! How about amending the useless Ethanol bill that passed last year. You know the one that has caused our food to go up all because farmers are forced to use a third of there crops for fuel. A fuel that is not even scientifically proven yet. Or maybe we could drill for oil in ANWAR or off the coast? No? Alright what about nuclear? Or is that only for other countries to use? Coal? Water? Wind? No, all of these hurt the environment you say? Really, even wind?

The fact is that we can't build any power plants. We can't drill for any oil. We can't even put Wind Turbines off the coast of New England because it might hurt the ocean. Or even worse, it might obstruct a view!

Thomas Jefferson said that a revolution every twenty years was needed. I am beginning to think that he was correct. What is it going to take to make the average american voice heard? It's not like we can talk through our vote. Not with the debacle that is our current 2 party system. Oh and by the way the only people that can change our political system are in fact the ones that benefit from this situation. Could it be through our own dollar. Well maybe. 20 years ago! The sad fact is that the price of gas has gone up due to foriegn money. The oil is bought on the global market. It is being driven up by foriegn investors who know that the U.S. is stuck paying for it because our own elected officials can't stand up to the enviromental special interest groups! Meaning we can't even drill for the oil that is beneath us. We have to rely on foreign oil.

I'm just so frustrated with the needs of the real American people being cast off in favor of the special interest groups that consist of the few. The truth is the gas prices haven't hurt me personally all that much. Besides the fact that we probably won't travel very far it doesn't change us. But I'm not nieve enough to realize that the products that we use all come through trucks, train or shipment cargo. All of which use FUEL! Meaning the price of everything is going to go up.

At least we have Walmart. We can save a buck or two there. Of course that money goes into the hands of a communist country. Oh and buy the way China also pumps more co2 into the air than any other country. And that's not going to stop. They currently are in construction of 300 coal power plants. China will pollute more than the U.S. by far! So every-time I buy something at Walmart to save money because fuel prices are so high I give it to China so they can build something that will pollute and then fuel will go up here since congress wants to save the planet before they save us! Viscous circle!

Lost tribe found!

2008-05-30T10:31:00.005-06:00

Brazilian tribe found! This is a photo taken of a tribe that is untouched by modern man. They have never been contacted by outside man. There is an estimated 500 of these untouched kinds of tribes living in the rain forest today. Also it looks like Bigfoot lives with them. You can see him on the top above the hut. That sneaky Saskatchewan!

Full Story

2008-05-30T10:24:00.002-06:00

TOKYO — A homeless woman who sneaked into a man's house and lived undetected in his closet for a year was arrested in Japan after he became suspicious when food mysteriously began disappearing.

Police found the 58-year-old woman Thursday hiding in the top compartment of the man's closet and arrested her for trespassing, police spokesman Hiroki Itakura from southern Kasuya town said Friday.

The resident of the home installed security cameras that transmitted images to his mobile phone after becoming puzzled by food disappearing from his kitchen over the past several months.

One of the cameras captured someone moving inside his home Thursday after he had left, and he called police believing it was a burglar. However, when they arrived they found the door locked and all windows closed.

"We searched the house ... checking everywhere someone could possibly hide," Itakura said. "When we slid open the shelf closet, there she was, nervously curled up on her side."

The woman told police she had no place to live and first sneaked into the man's house about a year ago when he left it unlocked.

She had moved a mattress into the small closet space and even took showers, Itakura said, calling the woman "neat and clean."

I had a small set of conjoined twins living in my bathroom at one time. I can't say for sure how long they were there but I know it was at least for a year. Come to find out they lived in my shower at night and lived a regular life during the day. I started to wonder if something was going on when I noticed three times the number of toe nail clippings in the house. I set a trap and eventually caught them. No need for the police though. I kept them in the basement and named them Gooner and Roger. They lived for several years happily. Or at least I like to believe they were happy.

Ice Cream

2008-05-23T12:01:00.003-06:00

I hate ice cream with nuts in it. Unless it's praline pecan. Because then the nuts are sugared. I actually love butter pecan too. But I just spit the pecans out. I wish they had just butter ice cream instead of butter pecan. Any way my point is that nuts just shouldn't be in ice cream. I mean why is it there? Gross. If I wanted nuts I'd eat peanut butter with honey or jam or high fructose corn syrup.

I think I might have a problem with sweets.

Who cares about gas prices? We have bigger problems!

2008-05-19T14:41:00.003-06:00

So gas is slowly creeping towards $4.00 a gallon. That's nothing. Not only do we have to stock up on rice but now the more important foods are getting hit. Bacon and cooking oil! Please noooo!

Bacon has risen $6 a case and cooking oil is up to $47 a barrel campared to $17 dollars a barrel last year. This is serious! My question is what are Obama, Clinton, and McCain going to do about it? I haven't heard a word from them about bacon. How do I vote not knowing were they stand on this issue.

First I was forced to ride my bike to Wendy's and now I cannot afford the bacon cheeseburger when I get there. This definitely won't help my figure.

Another great video.

2008-05-15T14:00:00.002-06:00

Thanks to Chris for helping me rediscover Flight of the Conchords.

I like Duffy.

2008-05-15T13:25:00.003-06:00

That's right I do. Take a listen to her songs Warwick Avenue and Mercy.

Great News!

2008-05-15T09:48:00.005-06:00

NKOTB are back baby! And just in the nick of time. Just when I thought there wasn't any good music anymore, this happens. I'm just wondering who put them back together? What was Color Me Badd not available? I needed this like I need a hemroid. Please! How old is their fan base? If you actually download this you best not tell me. Trust me.

On a personal note to NKOTB. Guys, look I know it's hard when you peaked at 15, but this is not the answer. You can't possibly top Hangin' Tough. I mean who could write a song better than The Right Stuff. Maybe you guys should spend your time doing things that guys your age should be doing. Like making sure you have enough fiber in your diet. The Backstreet Boys think your hanging on to something that's gone.

It might actually be spring.

2008-05-14T22:14:00.002-06:00

Monday morning I took the kids to the park. They had fun even though the slides were still wet from that morning's rain. They loved being outside. It's been a long winter this year and I think we are all ready for some warm weather. The leaves are beginning to bloom and it feels great.

For those Arizona readers we haven't even gotten warmer than 75 degrees yet. It's probably almost 100 down there. Ha!

My ipod ruined music for me.

2008-05-14T21:29:00.005-06:00

I think it really did. Long before ipods were household items I used to listen to cd's and even the radio. Ugh, the radio. I would never listen to radio now. Pish, please. The only radio I listen to now is talk radio. If I want music I'll listen to my ipod. There in lies the problem. I'm so used to making my playlist with whatever I want that I'm too spoiled to appreciate music at all. I am no longer satisfied with making a playlist then updating the ipod to use later. I need instant gratification. Somebody wake me up when they can implant a chip into my brain that plays music that I want exactly when I want it.

This gets me thinking about how hard life is today. Think about it. If the pilgrims even wanted music (I'm pretty sure music wasn't even invented yet) they would just hum something. They have no idea what it would be like to have to think ahead of time about what they wanted.

Not only do we have to think about music, but I also have to decide which shows to dvr before its even on! What am I, psychic? (I highly recommend watching psych on the USA Network. It's a good laugh.) How do I know which shows are going to be great? For instance, I never watched Man vs Wild. I thought it wasn't dvr worthy. Until my good friend Chris, T.V. enthusiast and Trick Snapper Extraodiniare, told me I needed to watch it. I loved it. Guy is just crazy, I mean eating a dead deer! Anyway, now I'm ticked because look at all the episodes I've missed out on. Going back for just a second, what is the deal with the word psychic? It took my like 2 minutes to figure out if that is spelled right or not.

Why is life so unfair sometimes?

Archuletta saves the human race!

2008-05-12T16:37:00.003-06:00

At least I think he did. He must have. Why else would he be on the news straight for the past week? Come on Utah, don't we have anything else to hang our hat on besides this kid.

I'm tired of AI. I watched last week and was bored.

Well that's it. Actually I have a lot of things I want to blog about but, no time. Maybe later.

American Idol blah, blah, barf.

2008-05-01T22:29:00.007-06:00

Another week and another mediocre talent is voted off the show. I personally have not watched it although I did see Brooke get kicked off and flood the stage. I was seriously worried for her safety. She had to be standing in at least an inch of tear water. Water and electrical items do not mix. That was dangerous for sure. I could just see her electrocuted. She would be black all over, but at least her hair would look the same.

So by now we all know who will be the last 2. It's got to be the David's. Right? I mean it could not possibly be Jason or Syesha in the final. Is America that crazy? Of course they are. But still I believe it will be one of the David's. It could be billed as "David vs. the David that looks like Goliath when the small David stands next to him!" It will be unbelievable!

I know one thing; David Cook has the head of Goliath. Have you looked at that thing? "He looks like an orange on a toothpick" "That's a virtual planetoid!"

I don't trust people with big heads. WHEN they find a way to tap the full potential of the human brain people with bigger heads could have the ability to dominate. That's why I never trust a person with a big head. You definitely can't put them in positions of power. Look, this may sound wrong to some of you people, but I'm not just talking about it, I'm applying it in my own life. I have a son, Luke, who has a big head. And believe you, me. I will never teach him to succeed. Not a fighting chance. This is hard for me. He is my son after all but I am aware of the danger and revere the responsibility I have of keeping him from reaching his potential. The doctor says he is currently in the 67th percentile for his age. If for some reason his body catches up with his head I will ease off, but until then....I will do what I must do!

In short don't vote for David Cook. I know I won't!

Brickhouse Out!

He could rule the world Someday,
If I'm not careful!

Financial Advice

2008-05-01T14:27:00.002-06:00

No, it's not from me. Some time ago I worked for Kinko's. I liked it. I had aspiration's of climbing the ladder. I actually came very close to taking a job within Kinko's to Bozeman, MT. I'm glad I didn't. I have since discovered that the Founder and then CEO, Paul Orfalea, was one of the main reason's I enjoyed working there.

I was browsing Ken Rockwell's site and came across an article called How to Afford Anything.
He linked to Paul Orfalea's blog and his article Rainy Day Role Models. I really enjoyed both articles. I think there are a lot of truths that they both touch on.

I thought maybe someone else might enjoy reading both Ken and Paul. I would highly recommend reading Paul's blog and reading about how he started Kinko's. It's a great story.

Whoops #2!

2008-04-24T22:22:00.001-06:00

Got it wrong again. I give up!

AI April 22nd

2008-04-23T10:24:00.003-06:00

Lord Andrew! I enjoyed this week. Going in I didn't think I would but it turned out pretty good. I thought Lord Andrew was funny and honest.

Just a quick rundown of my predictions. Not like it's that hard this week.

Bottom three:
Brooke White. She doesn't have the voice for this music and she just isn't improving. She was one of my early favorites but I'm tired of her talking. I'd like her more if she just stopped talking and nodding her head at the judges.

Jason Castro. He likes singing high. Get it?

Syesha Mercado. She did good but not as good as the top three.

In the end I think Brooke is going home. The start stop thing hurt. Plus she isn't Jason Castro. Meaning that she doesn't have a huge early teen girl following.

Best performance for me was David Archuleta. I thought he did great.

April Desktops

2008-04-14T13:29:00.004-06:00

Here are some desktops I made. Feel free to download them!

PC users click on image then right click and then select "Set as Desktop".

They are 1280 x 1024.

Snoop Dogg gets Baptized?

2008-04-03T10:38:00.002-06:00

Well I fell for it, at first! The site looked so real and all of the links to CNN worked. But finally I read the small print on the bottom of the page. See for your self!

Snoop Dogg Mormon!

Whoops!

2008-04-03T08:54:00.000-06:00

So I was wrong. Big deal. I'm actually glad that it Sayesha stayed. I really do like her voice. I hope she does something with it next week. All in all I think the two were about right on.

I admit it!

2008-04-02T09:39:00.001-06:00

I like American Idol. There I said it. I do. I really do. It's fun to watch. I still watch sports and play sports and scratch myself. American Idol doesn't change any of that.

Last night was a decent night. I thought the best was probably David Archuleta. There is no doubt he has got a great voice. I just don't like his song choices that much. What is with Syesha? I mean I was pulling for her but then she started doing the crying baby thing. Creepy! I really like her voice when she does a jazzy type song. I don't think she is as good as she thinks she is though. Your not Whitney Houston. Stop trying!

Anyway, my bottom three are Ramiele, Kristy Lee Cook and Syesha. I really think Kristy Lee Cook should have been gone weeks ago. Instead the country fans keep voting her in despite her lack of talent. My prediction is Syesha. She has enough talent to stay but she just isn't that likable. So if people are as smart as I am they would clearly vote off Kristy Lee Cook. Since I know that people are not as smart as me I think Syesha is gone!

Great thoughts!

2008-03-29T13:28:00.000-06:00

I had some very interesting thoughts. Actually they are more than interesting they are revolutionary. These are thoughts that Sir Isaac Newton himself could have only dreamed of. I'm talking stellar thoughts here people.

I really wanted to finish this post but I used all of my energy on what you have read so far. Plus I have forgotten everything I had thought of. It takes so much energy to actually remember things.

At least the season is over.

2008-03-21T14:37:00.001-06:00

Even with all of the talent that Arizona had this year we still disappointed. It was a tuff season. I truly thought they would beat West Virginia. But once again we didn't play anyone on the bench and we let them shoot three's all day. So I say good riddance to this season and look forward to next year!

ASU Rant!

2008-03-20T15:07:00.000-06:00

I have something to say to ASU fan. Congratulations on beating my Arizona team twice this year. Oh and sorry you didn't make the tourney. One more thing, quit whining about it. First of all you're ASU. You can't erase 25 years of pathetic basketball with one mediocre season. Do I think that you should have made the tournament? Of course. You totally should have beat out Villanova.

What about the RPI. Your 83rd right between Ohio (not Ohio State) and Austin Peay. Not exactly powerhouses. Look, you probably should be in the tourney but don't start to think that you should be there instead of Arizona. That's just stupid.

Again, nice wins over Arizona even though Lute was not coaching and our best player was hurt.

Rumor games.

2008-02-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know, Rumor Games is a game I've played by myself for years. Here are the rules. I start completely unfounded made up rumors and sit back and see how long it takes for it to come back to me. That's it.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, having a big family, took the discussions from LDS Missionaries. Brad wants to get baptized but Angelina doesn't.
The University of Arizona are considering hiring Pat Summit as their new head coach.
President Obama has a tattoo on his backside that says Praise Allah.
Keanu Reeves eats baby pandas. He believes it keeps his skin silky smooth.
Steve Martin was caught with the daughter of a Movie executive. In order to keep this mistake private the movie exec made Steve do 2 Pink Panther movies.
Nicholas Cage has never had plastic surgery.

The Lazy Blogger

Smart Marketing!

Another video....sorry.

This video explains everything.

My apologies.

How has it taken me this long to find this???

The Prop 8 California ruling was....

Do American women keep turning you down?

Hollywood Stereotypes.

See ya suckers!

Before I die.......

Must see movies!

I can't resist.

Urgent Email

Obama makes a great move as President. Surprising?

Are you really going to eat me?

Yeah, but what about corn?

Obama believes college is for everyone. Sorry Mr. Gates. You should have gone to school.

Breakfast is only served in Hell!

My Favorite Internet Videos

Take on Me: Literal video translation

Sad News.

Rumor games.

Thank you Congress!!!

Photo Evidence why nobody should be surprised Michael Phelps is bonging it up!

What I learned at Disneyland.

Product Review.

Will Smith makes sense. Go figure.

Wow!!!

Finally a source of news for old people.

Finally...a post.

Here are some of my favorite commercials.

Tags

So much to post about.

Huh???

My Hero!

President Elect.

More posts for your money.

Voting in Utah!

Sad News.

Quirks

Worst Day Ever!

Struggling with bills?

The Sky is Falling!!!

Best Dancing Moves Ever!!!

The Family!

What's up Broa!

Portia and Lance

Ray Romano Sings the Hits!

Even More Michael McDonald Video!

Michael McDonald Tribute

Obama or Die!

Why do I love Life?

80's "Moment" of the day

Great Story!

Bowling is not an actual sport!

Is Bowling a sport?

Weird story!

Template for a successful retirement

Fathers Day!

VP RACE NARROWS

Friday the 13th!

Revolution!

Lost tribe found!

Ice Cream

Who cares about gas prices? We have bigger problems!

Another great video.

I like Duffy.

Great News!

It might actually be spring.

My ipod ruined music for me.

Archuletta saves the human race!

American Idol blah, blah, barf.

Financial Advice

Whoops #2!

AI April 22nd

April Desktops

Snoop Dogg gets Baptized?

Whoops!

I admit it!